But what if it wasn't you and it was someone else?

But what if it wasn't you and it was someone else?
If it was someone else feeling the way you do you'd be helping them? You'd be supporting them? You wouldn't give up on them? And you'd be giving them advice and doing everything to make sure they feel okay, they smile and that they don't give up?
So..
Why is it different when it comes to ourselves? Why is it so hard for us to give ourselves the advice, support, encouragement and help we'd give to others who feel the same way we do?

We messed up, made a mistake?
We wouldn't call someone else a failure, tell them to give up and call themselves nasty names because of that mistake- we'd be comforting them, encouraging them not to give up and to carry on, we'd be telling them that it's okay, that they are good at what they do and chances are others may not have even realised..
So why do we do it to ourselves?

We feel low, depressed, hopeless, that there's no point?
We wouldn't tell others to give up what they used to enjoy because they don't feel good enough, we wouldn't let someone else feel so hopeless that they don't see the point anymore? We wouldn't tell someone that there's no point in living and getting through the days? We wouldn't let someone else give up on themselves- we'd be supporting them, helping them find a reason to get out of bed and get through the day, encouraging them, telling them that things will be okay and things will get better, and that today may just be a bad day but tomorrow will be better..
So why do we do it to ourselves?

We feel like we let everyone down, that we fail and that we hurt people?
We wouldn't tell others that they let everyone down, that they're failures and that they're worthless and only good at hurting others- we'd tell them all the good things they've done, we'd tell them how proud we are of them, we'd tell them that they aren't letting people down and that it will be okay..
So why do we do it ourselves?

We feel like we need a release? That everything's too much or you feel to numb that you need something to "help"?
We wouldn't tell someone else to hurt themselves, down excessive amounts of alcohol and take whatever to make them feel "better"... you wouldn't pick up that self harm tool and hurt them? You wouldn't pick up that bottle, shove it in their mouth and tell them to down it- we'd help them, talk to them, distract them and make sure that they get a release in a non self destructive way. We wouldn't let them do bad things to themselves..
So why do we do it to ourselves?

Why do we find it so much easier to be horrible to ourselves, be our own worst enemy and critique? Why do we allow ourselves to call us all the horrible names we'd never dream of calling others?

Why is it so hard to love ourselves, support ourselves and encourage ourselves, but so easy to beat ourselves up and give up? Believe that there's no point and that there's no hope? Yet if someone else was in our shoes we'd be doing the opposite?

We need more self loving, we need to be proud of ourselves and we need to accept how we are! It's okay to feel negative emotions, it's okay to feel down, depressed, anxious and stressed, we're human and they're natural. But it's not okay to let it smother you and get to a point where it's making you ill, making you unable to cope and making you feel like you can't carry on.

Support those around you by all means, but how about we try support ourselves too? They say we're all equal and that we should treat others how we'd want to be treated ourselves? So let's do it.
At the end of the day we can't rely on others, we need to help ourselves and try see through the grey cloud and tell ourselves "but what if it was someone else in my shoes, what would I be doing/saying to them?"

It's possible it just takes some practice and it's most certainly something I need to start trying!

Hope you're all okay and that this makes sense to you, also thank you for reading (if you made it this far through the post that is!) Keep strong and give it a go, you can do it!

Nat, xox