Okay, I'm feeling extremely high and hyper right now and I can't actually sit still, so if there's any spelling mistakes etc. then there's the explanation!
Today has been what I needed. Today, seeing the 3 members of staff and friend from sixth form/school it's made me realise and pushed me into coming to terms with how much has changed- for the better!
Before leaving Sixth Form in January I was just one miserable, hopeless, depressed, anxious and insecure thing with no desire for the future, no goals, no confidence, no motivation, no ambition.. I simply survived and somehow made it through.
Then the incredible and life changing Prince's Trust came into my life. The Prince's Trust absolutely saved me. It made me feel alive again. It gave me goals, tasks, challenges, lots of happiness, memories, friends, motivation, hope and incredibly some confidence.
Today I went to see some staff from sixth form/ school and whilst walking round the building and talking to them all I felt like a whole different person. People were approaching me in a whole different way- a very nice, welcoming and joyful way. They weren't being cautious about talking to me incase I panicked. They weren't being cautious about approaching me incase shut them off. They were simply treating me like someone they were confident to talk to. Their whole body language and the way they spoke to me was completely different. And I believe that's down to my body language and vibes being completely different- I wasn't standing closed off and rigid. I wasn't hiding myself and avoiding eye contact. I wasn't constantly fiddling and hiding behind my hair. And again, that's all thanks to the Prince's Trust!
The course was hands down the best thing I could've done. It's transformed me into something I wouldn't have been able to transform into without!
Now when people ask me about my future I can actually answer them, when people talk to me I can comfortably talk to them back, when people approach me I don't feel so tense and on edge and when people ask me how I am; I can actually say "okay".. and most of the time genuinely mean it!
Things are so much better now. And I know as always I still have a good way to go, but after concentrating and reflecting on just how far I've come.. well bring it on! I'm not giving up. No way. I couldn't do that to those around me but now I can say I couldn't do that to myself either!
So whilst I'm here I would just like to say a great, big, massive THANK YOU to everyone who's helped me and continues to help me.. The Prince's Trust (Kerry, Jim, Jade, Lori, John, Tony, Michael, Tom, Daniel and Dom). The girls and their parent's. The staff I saw today (Penny, Liz and Erica). My friends, my family and of course my support workers and counsellor. I really would not be here as the person I am today without you all.
Loads of love to you all!
- I hope you're all okay and life's treating you well! Remember I'm always here if you need me! Take care🌞 -
