So as I sit here at the park, listening to music and watching the stars it's just giving me the perfect opportunity to sit and think and reflect.
Who'd have thought what a difference just over 2 weeks could make?! It's scary just thinking about it. I can't even imagine my life before, but I know it was not happy and a nice place to be. In just over two weeks of me concentrating on myself and getting my life back I've come so far, yes not everyday is all sunshine and rainbows and it's certainly had it's down moments, but with every dark time comes 3 bright things and that's certainly true. I know what keeps me going, keeps me fighting and picks me back up when I fall and I can gladly say that they aren't all harmful things anymore and that they're my family, support workers and my friends too. I'm so lucky, I have more than I could ever wish for in terms of support. Parents that haven't given up on me, support workers that haven't given up on me and friends that haven't given up on me and those people not giving up on me gives me every reason not to give up on myself. Like I've said before, this is ALL such a long, windy, bumpy journey; but it's possible and I'm gonna make it possible! I have a long way to go don't get me wrong, but I know that I can make it through and most importantly FIGHT my way through!
I've met some absolutely lovely people in the past two weeks who together we've already come such a long way- as a team and as individuals. I can find myself being with them and genuinely smiling, laughing and just enjoying their company. They're supportive, encouraging and understanding and it's truly lovely to be around.
"Everything happens for a reason" is the saying; and I'm starting to believe it more and more. And I guess in some cases I hope it's true too.
As I sat at the table first thing today: "So we're on week 3, how are you feeling and are you going to make it through to week 12"
Yes. Yes I am. Because I have so many people supporting me through this, I have such kind people around me and it's a challenge; again, with its ups and definite downs, but it's about personal development and I have trust that this course is going to help develop me as a person, it's already starting to in just over 2 weeks and I'd like to see how things are after 12! It's a rollarcoaster of emotions, but that's okay because anything has to be better than how my life was.
I like seeing people happy and after experiencing it today.. I like feeling happy too and I long for that feeling to be more permanent!
I'll get there.. I have no choice!
A massive, massive, massive thank you to ALL of the supportive people in my life; who haven't given up on me, have encouraged me, guided me and believed in me. I'd be absolutely nothing without you all.
I hope you're all well and life is treating you kindly!
Take care!
Natalie x
